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i'm not even going to go off on a rant because the story is. not. new.
you're all complaining about californians voting for chickens over you. that IS some fucked up shit, no lie.
um but what about voting against prop 5, chickens deserve leg room but drug offenders don't deserve rehabilitation (that might i add, would have been saving our state MILLIONS of dollars, including strengthening the "liberal" progressive political powers)? that's a damn shame that we're reducing our civil rights agenda for trendy topics that are supposedly more life changing than the unseen, undocumented lives we have grown accostomed to exploiting and killing
the white middle class face of the gay-marriage struggle is but that. a face that's still appropriating the battle cry that they're the "last oppressed people in this country". for real? just because obama got in the white house you think he's not going to worry about being assasinated just for being black. hell even for being an independent thinker? well you need to think again.
moreover, stop pointing the finger at ethnic groups in the state, there's a rift between you and them. it's not their fault, it might not even be yours (emphasis on might). white-organizers, have you thought about the following: 1) outreach to them too 2) understand that they have queer people in their community too who do not have to choose between sides 3) listen because if you don't, you're just going back to imposing racist enlightenment ideologies again, and also you just can't get anywhere without listening 4) outreach to your own damn self, aka think about how oppressions relate to one another like the institution of marriage perpetuating binary gender roles and economic power.
MARRIAGE IS NOT JUST a symbol of love, it's an economic and social status, and a machineCurrent Mood:  whatever |
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Sep. 19th, 2008 @ 08:39 pm
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in aims to humanize my intermittent cyber voice (aka, text),
and to make up for my neglect to livejournal,
here's me at one of the gay parties in SB, i look cute, a little too straight, but hey
matter of fact, to balance it out, here's a gayer pic of me, me and glinder (abram and oscar not pictured) we all stayed at the W for SF pride this year
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summer
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Sep. 19th, 2008 @ 08:03 pm
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well damn, my last entry was in muh fukin May.
i'm gonna try to keep this relatively short, partly b/c it's more likely to become a habbit
um summer went by so fuckin fast. i've been in classes literally nonstop up until last week. from fall semester to intersession to 2 summer classes in back to back sessions. i did transition to UCSB in the later summer session, i was gonna come back after i found out the transition program was a load of bologna, and since i was paying out of my savings (no financial aid available for summer), i seriously was going to come back home and just pay a small cancellation fee. but i stuck it out and it was probably for the best because my SB contact was leaving and in retrospect, now that i stayed, i got closer to her which was very nice, and we got to support each other in our inverse transitions. and also i got the inside scoop on a lot of collegiate dynamics, like who to watch out for and who is down, all taken with a grain of salt of course. but nonetheless someone's experience is never invalid.
my summary: the campus is beautiful, the weather is fuckin perfect, the politics is lackluster, on top of its given slack being a huge institution, like UC. um yeah, not a whole lot of opportunity, but thank the lord and saviour for financial aid, cuz they're really hooking me up. what else....um it's close to LA, i'm kinda frustrated though cuz i've been meaning to purchase a used car, which would really help me to get to LA and see family, and have a bit of a retreat from the yuppy dilusional SB community, but i haven't been able to really progress that endeavor, even though i have some money saved up =\
and i guess i should share that some guys attempted to gay bash me outside of a friend's gay birthday party in the supposed party scene in santa barbara, but they really underestimated me and i put up a good fight and moreover, they never got inside my head, never got me to loose my cool or anything. in fact the most work i had to do, hands down, was calm concerned friends and family that i really was ok, that and investigate ways in holding people accountable, whether that's the police who don't want to call it a hate crime b/c supposedly yellilng "faggot" is the same as saying idiot. and considering how much testosterone + alcohol intermix, you can't call these situations hate crimes or they'd be springing up all over the place considering the great diversity of the area, according to the officer, which is utter b.s.
but i shouldn't talk much about this since i do still intend to put pressure on the D.A. to file it as a hate crime, and i got some legal advice that i ought to give the officers the "benefit of the doubt" and maybe they didn't understand my question about is it a hate crime since they tried to jump me for being gay....ugh whatever
it's weird b/c in spite of downers like that, i feel like i'm really living down there. between a strong (albeit, naive) budding gay community at the campus, and the exciting aspect of discovering the socal culture so different from bay area living, it's still like night and day to the bad experience i had in boston...
to be continuedCurrent Mood: unphased Current Music: what about -janet |
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May. 6th, 2008 @ 03:27 pm
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wow i really let time lapse in between my last post. well let's see, nothing too momentous has occurred. however i am receiving my last of the UC transfer admission notifications. i went down to LA to visit my brother and my gay uncle and my antie and cousin flew in from new jersey. and while i was down there i stopped by uc santa barbara. i don't quite know how i feel about it yet. especially when all i hear are my bias friends who keep telling me it's a toxic place with lots of toxic white folks, whatever that means. after all, any place would be a step up from boston. it looks more and more that's where i'll end up too. got rejected from ucla and ucb which i initially didn't care to get into, but now i kinda think it would be a really nice set up -i'd know the area and my friends and stuff wouldn't need to change drastically, and i'd get the name credibility. but now as i talk...err write it out, those are kinda bad, or rather empty reasons. i should be getting a fresh start somewhere. especially since i've been metaphorically been forcing myself to look at my situation with my mom and how unhealthy it is living here. it breaks my heart.
in other news, i've been having a gang load of "blasts from the pasts". people from high school are coming back into my life. which is so weird, considering i worked so hard in high school not to be social (for personal reasons, you might know if you're close, you might not), but yeah lol. me and jetta are doing our thursday thing which is so full of love and rejouvenating energy. i saw my friend from my malcolm x middle school who was mad i never told her i was gay. i saw my other homegirl at my students' talent show (go figgure) and i talked with cori about our life updates and how i could give him some back-seat support if he wants to get involved with queer youth resources again. but yeah, it just keeps on going. oh and my other homegirl who i was hella tight with in high school, alane, told me that one of my old teachers was asking about me.
um the dating thing is out of the emotional rut. but not very much for the better. which i'm also thinking might be related to needing a fresh start (in an L.A. setting perhaps). wow that's so exciting to think i could finally familiarize myself with SoCal culture, being the little berkeley/oakland hybrid hoodrat for most of my life. i'm even thinking i would want to look up davis, see what's the dillio with that place. i really never wanted to be in such a desolate location, but i know too many fucking awesome people that come from there to deny it as a viable option at this point.
i need to buy albums. leona lewis, dollhouse, and ashly simpson. i never thought i'd be buying those, but they're good and it would be such the first switch to soCal mentality. haha
but yeah. a lot of this is surreal. whether i go somewhere or stay, i absolutely NEED to make my life more healthy and be more attuned to my inner dialogue. something that's been dead for almost a decade.Current Music: here's where i stand -camp |
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wiggidy wiggidy waddup ya'll
lol, um i just need to update since it's been forever and it's been a heart-wrentching month (it just had to have an extra day didn't it *cynicism*). let's see, i took my mom out to sushi for valentines, i've been somewhat on good terms with my step mom, my dad is progressively getting back into pissy mode. probably in relation to me using his credit card to pay some school expenses... i've been meaning to give him money though just out of principle, but i'd rather not do it in a context of him pouting, he's a big boy he needs to use words.
i haven't heard much from my brother other than he's just working a lot and slowly developing a small, small social life down in the LA area. i miss him. he's actually going to chicago next weekend for my cousin's wedding, i'm opting not to go just cuz it's not the big to-do wedding and i have other priorities too.
like how i'm behind in one of my classes. the online one, good thing i didn't take all online! it's ridiculous how i've let myself procrastinate this for so long. it's no excuse and i damn fer sure can't blame him, but the guy i was seeing waaaay back in err january really put a spell on me and i kinda lost my momentum in the academic area....
i really need to be more careful next time, after all, like i said i have priorities, and i need to be more aware of the fact that i'm pretty emotional and can fall pretty fast and pretty hard. oh!, but david called randomly and it was such a nice wake up call. it didn't totally alleviate the rut i was stuck in, but it was one of the first conversations where i could see our relationship past the shoulda-woulda-coulda nonsensical lovey dovey feelings. he's an amazing guy bottom line, and i'm confident in saying, a true friend. i loved how when i expressed my dilemma, he said with such care and conviction that i need to ask for what i want and that i deserve it. i love david! unfortunately i didn't get the opportunity to ask said person, because he's busy or what not... more likely though- just not as into me as i had thought. i mean a text message isn't that hard to do =(
so i've been trying to keep myself busy (lol...other than school work, hmmm) and been seeing friends and setting up a few innocent dates. i don't want to say rebound-dates cuz i feel that connotes insincerity, but they really were rebound, ie. in order to snap myself out of these ridiculous down and out thoughts, but if it's someone cool they hey, hollaback (yuck i can't believe i just said that). um, i saw derrick once this month, we got to catch up, and it's so trippy b/c i realized i've known him since i was 11/12.... half of my life! we got into adult talk.. that was weird but very satisfying. i saw mush a couple times, and that's always the bestest ever, and newman's friendship is something i appreciate so much, oh and the messy familia of course
ever still, i've been wondering how exactly DO i snap out of this RUT. i guess i just need to be more thankful of what is in my life firstly, and i think be more forgiving with my shortcomings and bad habits like spending too much time online. and i still don't know how i feel about the hookup i had with an acquaintance of mine, it was out of frustration from feeling rejected, but also it was really low key and mellow, i hooked up with him once before.. so the context wasn't the best, but then again it was the first time since i had been assaulted back in May that i did anything.
so yeah, there may well be a need for phase two or something, maybe not, but i'm confident in my first official prescription the more i think about it: forgiveness of myself. that's what i was missing.Current Music: erykah badu! old & new |
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i confess i was smitten, maybe not knee-deep, but my ankles were damn well soaked. and i'm a sap, what can i say, very sentimental.
now i've regained most of my composure, and i feel like it's a bit of a tragedy, like something's lost. then again, this is how the world works, people have shit to do –priorities, and i shouldn't forget that.
i guess it's in part because of karma, how i am where i am. i usually am the one who plays damsel, afraid to get hurt (which, granted is still not a pleasant place to be), but i at least got to relish in the validation of being wanted. and now i'm forcing myself to be more vulnerable, much due to the encouragement of friends and that faint voice of consciousness the heart loves to ignore. i put my feelings out on the table and it probably is too soon to have a defeatest mentality, but i'm in the beginning stages of a relationship, that place where you don't know where you stand, how to label it, and what actions to take to set a perfect foundation to one's pairing. you're driven by craving.
karma is being on the other side of the fence. karma is wondering how my life would have been different if my mom chose to stay with my dad. these feelings are really striking me down, my left side of the brain is truly getting it's ass beat. and i suppose rightly so.
still. i want someone who says "i miss you too." i want someone who overshadows my first love in every way. this is so the wrong way of thinking (or so i am learning).
my mom was a little empathetic tonight when i saw her. she lovingly said "it doesn't work like that. you have to risk. you have to gamble. you have to just run with it, learn from it." i feel like it's a whole new language though this one is intrinsic to the human experience. all you have to do is let yourself mature. that sounds so much simpler than it ever could be.
and it just so happens that Until Today states that fear can manifest in it's natural state against love. i think for lent this year i'm going to give up fear. ha that probably isn't traditional, but whatevs, it's still for a greater purpose
tbc
Feb. 4th, 2008 @ 10:45 pm
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| » Bayard Rustin Quotes |
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In one of his own Rosa Parks moments: “I cannot move.” The police came, and they started dragging Bayard out of his seat. And he pointed to a little white child across the aisle saying, “If I move, this child will not know that injustice is taking place here.”
“When an individual is protesting society's refusal to acknowledge his dignity as a human being, his very act of protest confers dignity on him.”
“To be afraid is to behave as if the truth were not true.”
“Fame is what you have taken, character is what you give; when to this truth you waken then you begin to live”
In between class and stuff this morning i looked some of these up. This next one is dedicated to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bananaboy82
“The bravest are the most tender; the loving are the daring.”
"My activism did not spring from being black...The racial injustice that was present in this country during my youth was a challenge to my belief in the oneness of the human family." - Bayard Rustin
Firece! –
"I have repeatedly been asked where I stand on the war in Vietnam by former civil rights activists who devote nearly all their energies to opposing the war. They want to know why I don’t do likewise. Unlike many of them, I do not believe that the civil rights movement is dead, so I’m not ready to help bury it. To those who have urged me to switch from civil rights to peace, let me say, someday, God help us, this war will be over, and my job is to help see to it when black soldiers come home, they will have something decent to come home to. "
Jan. 22nd, 2008 @ 08:41 pm
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| » What to say, what to say? |
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Life has me really working overtime!
My classes at laney have begun and in one of my classes (today) we just watched a frontline episode about a newspaper over at Penn State U. since the class is mix of journalism and media-sociology. The class looks promising if at least to fix into the image i'm selling to the UC transfer system. The episode talked about the bureaocracy of university programs and the relevance in of various contexts of media justice which is not too foreign to me. This one girl in class had to have been very fresh outta high school cuz she was the type who kept talking through the movie vying for attention. One of the issues was about the school's Black caucus raising concerns about over-arching racism specifically as it is embedded at the supposed prestigious college. I really appreciated one clip of a man at a press conference regarding said issues and how he was verbally harassed and called the "n word and faggot this and faggot that, he outta be lynched." I appreciated how he obviously stood up for his pride in his being. His identities/happenstance being what triggered the bigotry, I thought that it was very brave to acknowledge the homophobia which doesn't generally make it into mainstream media if there is already a racially charged component. Anyway, later in the episode, when gay white couples were shown in an article/photo it stirred even more controversy at their campus. Likewise, my class began simmering with soft comments. This girl just had to put her 2 cents out saying that the letters-to-the-editor against the portrayal of gays was an opinion and sounded like she was also attesting that it was justified at that. Ugh it just really irked me. I wonder what god is trying to tell me cuz just this morning i saw a snipped of a documentary on Bayard Rustin. I want to find a good book on him. I've always known of him, just not much.
Hm, work was a trip. I'm still in a transitional phase as school starts, I'm trying to find out how much I can commit to it and what works best, if at all. On top of that I've been dabbling in a few books but doubt i'll be able to really do them right/finish em cuz of all I have going on. One really striking my interest being Shambhala, thank you jun_fung!!
And finally, I don't want to go too much into it b/c it's really been a personal process and I'm growing still and very much entrenched in the thick of it still, but I've been dating a guy and we've been falling really fast so that's another reason why i don't want to jinx it. It's been a great opportunity to challenge some of my many walls i've put up between this vulnerable side, that and he's simply a sweet guy, a true gentleman (would be an understatement), and quite quite cute!
So yea I guess that's the long and the short of what sammy's been about. Thankful for my friends as always, and opening my eyes to many more reasons for thanks and subsequent growth (thank you bananaboy82 for Until Today).
Aspiring Raw,
Sammy
Jan. 22nd, 2008 @ 07:55 pm
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| » holiday drama |
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don't be alarmed by the subject title, this is still a positive post but it ends with a air of uncertainty
i had the best birthday ever a couple weeks back. i didn't get anything special, i didn't ask for much. but i got what i wished for the deepest. i got hoards of reminders from lots of friends who wanted to to send me birthday cheer messages. the littlest thing from text messages to facebook notes (which i haven't even tended to since i left boston). to a special dinner cooked in my honor. little things in compilation are so much stronger than big ones and i'm grateful for the reminder of the good i put out and recieve in return.
work was really stressful the past month though and i'm so in need of a vacation. i'm proud that i've begun a tangible process to transfer schools. and i'm more or less in complacive terms with my immediate family
although it now feels like the busy body lifestyle we partake in is begining to purge some of its flaws. my mom is hopefully happy in new jersey this christmas and i'll miss her, and i'm reminded of how my brother is doing his thing but still not speaking to her because of her own workaholic and unhealthy home lifestyle. she fears he won't accept her gift so she wants me to say its from me, but i'm thinking i'll rather wrap and give it in her name and also reiterate i can talk about his feelings regarding their situation if he needs.
also some close friends have been pulled apart not malisciously but out of circumstance and it's hard for me to see the tragedy. i want to hope for the best but there's so much going on i know i can only be a supportive friend for them both as they walk down their own processes.
oh and i was really behind on xmas shopping and was going to buckle down this weekend but threw up this morning b/c of food poisoning and it really sucks. but that aside, i will get my center and calm come wednessay sans sisfren <3
Dec. 23rd, 2007 @ 02:49 pm
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| » weak week |
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i feel real drained– my body is achey for some reason, and since i have a minor sore throat i'm guessing i'm a little sick so hopefully i can stamp this out before it gets into something harsh.
um i feel like there's more to write but i have a headache too.
but happy thanksgiving ya'll, eat up right! i'm gonna be a little lonely cuz my brother isn't coming up till christmas and as usual i'll decline going with my dad and his family. but nonetheless i'm real thankful for this time off from those kids who act-up
oh and i'm going to attempt to make lumpia for my first time, cross fingers for me
=)
Nov. 19th, 2007 @ 08:28 pm
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| » chchhchange |
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i really ought to have more to say since last weekend in napa was such a blessing -a healing atmosphere with very fun and "like-minded people"
and for being such a stiff fogie, apparently i haven't lost touch with embracing a bunch of wine and a little chronic
oh yeah and playing runway/draggish was such a kick
and in other news
my baby's back:
Oct. 24th, 2007 @ 10:41 pm
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| » ain't it funny how some things work– |
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Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
The Bottom Line
The people you connect with today are full of good advice that you should obey.
In Detail
As friendships go, your newest one is shaping up to be a significant element in your life. This is something you need to integrate consciously in your life -- so think about how making a bigger time commitment will affect things. Spending more time together would be a great way to do a final test on how the two of you connect. Plan a weekend getaway or camping trip to get out of the normal environment and see how you two can relate to each other in a new situation.
Oct. 19th, 2007 @ 06:44 pm
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| » that feelin |
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so right now, this second, i'm doing my bestest to fight off anti-social feelings. and when these hit me they hit big, no lie. but they don't have as much control over me as they used to. i brought my brother and mom to the youth media council honor-ceremony and member meeting. it was whatever, i'm glad they enjoyed it, cuz i sure would have preferred to have been alone in a closed room or bed. um
life working-
i NEED to hop on that school transferring situation cuz i told myself i wanted dates/deadlines by last weekend! ugh
i need to figure out if i'm staying at my worksite cuz i'd so much rather work somewhere else. i don't care about a pay cut cuz i need something where there's less stress if i'm gonna be keeping it during the school endeavor
i need to go out on a date ASAP, cuz i got one lined up but work has me so busy and drained...i just don't want to let this facet of my life slip out of my grasp.
Oct. 16th, 2007 @ 08:58 pm
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so i commute to the otherside of the oakland hills via highway 13, and on my way back its usually hella warm, but today was actually nice. why? apparently it's b/c of fires to the northeast and the south west of oakland, here and i thought it was just an unexpected cloud front, or fog or some crap. whoops, at least it didn't stink. =)
oh and i'm sick and tired of people still talking about how vick is evil. yeah he was wrong, but it's not like he murdered a human. and from a sociological standpoint, in some places dog is nothing more than livestock, and understandably so, in fact i've always secretly wondered what it'd taste like too...
it's not even like it was an endangered animal. i mean damn.
Sep. 6th, 2007 @ 05:09 pm
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| » chasing around! |
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that's all that school had me doing! and as if i wasn't jaded over higher education already..
so i finally chased down this guy who was supposed to call me and he basically said i was denied the usual grants but could get a loan through them. i may have to consider that but i already told myself that i shoudn't be setting myself up with these debts if i can help it, i mean really, i might as well be going to school out here.
and he really seems like he could be a decent person too but he just had to be the one to break it to me, i think he implied it was higher ranking officials who fundamentally denied me my sheit. fucking politics. and he didn't want to own his advice he gave me last winter cuz it's obviously how i framed my case. ugh! and i hate how my mom taught me correctly how to make sure you calm the person down in case they get defensive.... it's a great ability in this day and age but fuck, it makes me really not feel like dealing with some blanco mutha fuckers today, okay
more stuff laters, i gots an appointment to be at
Aug. 14th, 2007 @ 12:17 pm
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| » vacation |
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so i've been hella broke the past week+ but got to spend a nice day with sisterfren in the city even though we ended up procrastinating till later in the day. we found this yummy yummy and surprisingly affordable creperie in the stro (but managed to stay out of the heart of it all) and lucky for me i landed upon a bart card with like $15 on it.
other than that i went on vacation to bodega bay with my dad and step mom and her son to their beach cabin thing which i hadn't been to for like 5 years since i have no means to get there and they don't tell me when they go b/c i don't talk to them that much. i went under the pretense of helping out with the house repairs since it's a bit worn down with water leakage and some rust in places. but as it turned out that stuff is just for contractors so the main task was gardening and weeding but i didn't do that shit. i did make some filipino food which they loved. and lord knows they of all people shouldn't be eating tocino but i've given up a long time ago in bothering to voice my two cents with them. in the middle of the trip we went down to the dillon beach area to visit my step mom's irish friend and her american family who were visiting from all points of the western states they live in and hosting a cousin of theirs from ireland. the friend was cool, she and i got along well. in fact the whole family is pretty far left liberal which i can appreciate from a genuine irish lady who i could tell (without her having to say) acknowledges her white privilege. and one of the sons made a kick ass meal, he seemed a little questionable too and a certified Piece to boot. but it's probably wishful thinking on my part, but whatever, i deprive myself too much of wishful thinking. speaking of which once we got back to the cabin at 1 i had a dream about my david and reminded me how i miss him... i sent him a text once i got signal at a far end of the beach the next day. i took my step brother to the beach and we walked hella far, and he's a big boy who's out of shape so i'm glad he obliged. though we had to take a long break and i fell asleep on the sand, waking up to him building a fort with drift wood. other weird things that happened were counting a lot of bird corpses on the beach which was needless to say unusual for the area. also there was some animal in the surf when i fell asleep and it stayed there through my nap and til we left which was very unusual cuz it just poked its head out getting buoyed up and down by the waves. we found a trail cutting through the dunes but had to take numerous breaks so he could catch his breath or whatnot. all in all we got along fine, we always have and i think he's more of a brother to me than a step brother (also i've been around from his birth so that explains some of that) but his mom unfortunately will never be more than a step mom who often makes me feel like an added nuisance with a withering attachment to my sell out complicated father. anyhoo i drove my step brother back late saturday night with my dad's car, we're good company and i think he sincerely see's me as an older brother cuz he listens to me and knows i won't put up with his bull like his mom does. i thought it was funny though when i told him gordos is gringo food. my dad on the trip was whatever. i didn't expect any more, any less. i just needed time away and got to clear my head up a bit.
i just called bu and those bitches are still making me wait. so my backup plan is to apply as a transfer to places for the fall semester. 2piece already said he could hook me up with a job if i do end up staying. oh and my mom gets back tonight from her 2nd trip to visit my aunt. and i told me brother when he gets a chance i'd like to see him. oh and i am definitely going to see hairspray this week, about time! james marsden in high definition like whoa
oh and this is backdated but a week ago it stuck in my head. i was having a discussion with my step mom when i went to visit them and use their laundry machines and she had made some comment over dinner like well we can't give america back to the indians, or something like that and i said well i'm actually for that (you know, to be facetious but honest too, i mean it's never going to happen but i can believe in it still) and she said well what are you going to do, send half of you back to the philippines and half back to ireland. ohnothisbitchdidnt
anyway, i think i'm gonna go get some groceries soon, so adios
Aug. 6th, 2007 @ 12:49 pm
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| » cool |
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Ss, you are Balanced-brained
That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation.
When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over.
While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker.
The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.
Your Brain Type Report will describe how and why each of the responses you chose while answering the Brain Test revealed that you are Balanced-brained dominant. It's ready right now!
Jul. 28th, 2007 @ 12:07 pm
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| » part 2 of 2 |
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i guess... i might add some captioning and detailing at some later time or sort the order and clean up the enty a bit, whatever... but as far as the wedding -it was cute, and i got to pretend i was part of a functional family, and we got to stay in a really shnazzy inn while we were out there, i felt almost middle class!
( new jersey june wedding )
Jul. 23rd, 2007 @ 06:16 pm
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| » KUCINICH, YOU GO GIRL |
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ok so i broke away from reading harry potter and the deathly hallows to update since i'm getting a little wound up and need to trick my cabin fever as to think i'm actually doing something other than resting. for those who don't know and since i have been keeping hush and avoiding calls, actually no one really knew except until recently a few, i've been "sick". um nothing really bad, just that i had gotten surgery tuesday which i had been gearing up for since i went in earlier this summer following a pretty traumatic event which i'm still not sure my psyche is grasping as it ought to....but enough about being more cryptic.. i'm just stuck home for a bit longer, taking my vicodin. and i did manage to sneak out despite the pain to see sisterfren briefly to congradulate him on his new job credential, i wish i could have been healed by now but i'm not. in fact, i'm also taking antibiotics b/c on friday i went back into the hospital and complications to my surgery had found my wound had gotten infected...great!
so, as promised, here's a crap load of pictures from the wedding (i'll put them in a seperate post) in new jersey, it went pretty well all in all. i was almost outed only once really, not that i care so damn much, but following that my brother finally cut his ties with my mom b/c of her clutter and unhealthy living, my mom decided to take it out on me and in the setting of my helping her sort things at her work and home at that. so then me and her were also not on speaking terms for a bit till we talked it out and she apologized, claiming she was unreasonable but denying it was b/c of my brother stopping to talk to her.
anyway, i hope to be done with harry potter soon, it's good so far and i'm past half done, but i'm not going online much, especially into ohnotheydidnt b/c i realllllllly don't want the ending and stuff to be spoiled. i'm watching the anderson cooper cnn youtube debates.. it's weird, part of me is buying into some of the talking bytes but i still hate mainstream politicians, and i wish i wasn't getting disillusioned about anderson cooper, he's sucha dreamboat, why can't he have a backbone. and this last question they just asked is so corny i'm about to get nauseous. except kucinich just totally PWNED anderson as i was writing this and i think he may have won my vote over gravel whose redundancy is starting to get to me.
for those really curious, the last question was something stupid like, say something nice or critique your opponent to your left. kucinich was the furthest and last down the line and said somehting along the lines of "notice how cnn didn't put anyone to the left of me," to which anderson said "i'm not sure we would be able to find anyone to the left of you," trying to be funny, which i guess he was, but kucinich proved his quick wit by saying and i doubt i'd be able to find anyone more mainstream than you, anderson on the war and healthcare, etc.
best moment since michael more told off wolf blitzer
and to finish off this update, stupid ass BU is making me wait still about my financial aid mess. and i just want to be flipping done with undergrad, and if it doesn't work out this semester, i'm going to sever all ties and just finish up out here. sucks though cuz i had to send my deposit for on campus housing registration. i hope it doesn't end up being a waste.
Jul. 23rd, 2007 @ 05:03 pm
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so i can't update too much cuz i haven't even started packing... my flight to new york/new jersey is tomorrow midday and i just want all the hectic to stop, it's all been a bit overwhelming, and i'm sure i'm being a baby but it might have a lot to do with other factors influencing my mental capacity, aka my last nerve has died and risen more times than christ in a catholic school reading. pride in sf was very mediocre, but i didn't expect any more or less which is why i didn't partake in it until the day of the big commercial celebration on sunday. i helped with my friends' smirnoff booth and damn people like to drink when they extra gay. but it's ok i got to see plenty of folks i had no idea i would run into and some who i completely forgot about and one individual who i couldn't even get a hold of even though i went to his mama's house before heading out. ;-) and i can't forget drew who provided most of these pictures since i didn't bring a camera.
um anyway back to the topic at hand.. basically everything i've been doing or not doing has been downplayed on my part b/c i have too much to worry about. and even though it's not true, i feel like this trip for my aunt's wedding is like the last obstacle so maybe i can really put some umph into it...doubftful but i'll see what i can do.
so here are some pics from pride, and it really has been a while since i did this whole LJ thing cuz i just realized that i hadn't logged into photobucket in ages. hrm go figgure
( us not really partaking so much as coasting through )
Jun. 25th, 2007 @ 07:49 pm
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